Crusty Orange

The good out of the Michael Vick Scandal

Before I get a boat load of bitchy emails accusing me of supporting Michael Vick, I would like to start off by formally declaring, “I am in no way of supporting Michael Vick or his dog abusing ways.” Now that it’s out of the way…allow me to say how much pleasure I have received from the scandal. I’ve learned that the stereotype which claims that professional athletes have poor intelligence is still correct. I have not heard much of Vick and his case after he was found guilty in court, but I recall reading online that he has been recently spotted in several PETA meetings attempting to pick up women.

I would like to thank Michael for helping me decide what I should dress as for Halloween. Read further before you think I have the lack of creativity only to dress as a quarterback:




Please, feel free to tag along with the idea as well.

1) Find a Michael Vick jersey. Put it on. (if your one of those people who love to go all out in apparel, then, find some black pants and football pads…it might help!)

2) Find two friends who do not care dressing like idiots. (Animal loving freaks will NOT be a strong/recommended choice)

3) Take a trip to your local costume store and buy two full-body dog outfits and maybe your local pet shop to buy a couple dog collars and leashes.

4) Dress your friends in these costumes on the night of Halloween, accompanied by the collars and leashes

5) Walk down your street (dressed as Michael Vick), holding the leashes in one hand and throw fake bills in front of them.

6) Instruct your friends to attempt to beat the shit out of each other while you yell out “Place your bets, place your bets”

7) Avoid any federal or state law enforcement.

And there you have it! A perfect Halloween costume that is guaranteed to score you some king size candy bars, or some sick and sympathetic looks.

Enjoy.